Dec. 4th, 2006

abbandono: (Default)
Still don’t know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets and
Every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I’ve never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I’m much too fast to take that test


It all started when I was watching Sports Night again. This time around, what lingers with me is how the act of making something, over and over, making and remaking, night after night, how that shapes a person's life. How thoroughly it makes you who you are.

And it occurs to me how much I miss that. How I miss the way time compresses as the moment approaches when the curtain goes up, until it is as hard and clear and immutable as diamond. I miss it from college theater in particular, but it occurs to me that it's a more fundamental part of who I am than that.

It's why I prefer writing poetry to writing anything else, and it's why I've never been anywhere close to finishing a novel. It's why I loved doing high school homework in the class period just before it was due. It's why I liked swing dancing when I was thinking only about the dance at hand, and why it started to bug me when I began being too concerned about long-term improvements in my dancing.

It's why, as much as I like my current job, I don't like the part of it that is big long projects with very few notable milestones, because most days feel like I've done nothing, and I really like the feeling of making something every day.

Until now, I'd never entirely decided what I wanted to do with my life. What I know now is that I was framing the question in the wrong way. I used to think the problem was that I was good at too many things, and couldn't bring myself to pursue just one to the exclusion of the others - am I a photographer, a writer, a programmer, a musician, a composer, a mathematician, a lighting designer, or something else entirely?

What I'm at bloody last realizing is that my "bliss" is none of these things - it's a way of living that involves making something every day, that compresses hours the way the weight of the atmosphere squeezes wet and loamy life up through the roots of plants and trees.

It doesn't really matter what I do, as long as every day (or as close an approximation as I can manage) has that feeling in it.

I don't know where I'm going yet, but I know at last what the destination looks like. As Mr. Bowie sang in the song, it's time to "turn and face the strain".

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes...
abbandono: (Default)
Links for wordies:

Wordie.org is a site for people who like words. Make lists of your favorite words, hated words, favorite palindromes, etc. Lots of fun. My lists are here, but I haven't entered many words yet.

The Unsuggester is a project by LibraryThing designed to invert the "if you liked this, you will like that" concept so prevalent on e-commerce and social networking sites nowadays. The idea is to present you with the books you are least likely to have read, or want to read, based on a favorite book which you have read already.

I tried it out with Italo Calvino's Invisible Cities, and the result suggests that fans of Calvino's poetic exploration of urbanity are highly unlikely to like John Grisham novels. Entirely accurate - I've never read a Grisham novel, and he's not on my reading list.

On the other hand, when I entered Something Fresh by P.G. Wodehouse, I was informed that I'm very unlikely to also like Chuck Palahniuk novels, or Dance Dance Dance by Haruki Murakami. Not so accurate there, especially considering I recently read the latter and loved it. I guess I'm within the wee standard deviation on that one.

Links for gamers:

My Nintendo Wii was due to arrive Friday, but was delayed by the nationwide arctic cold snap, so meanwhile I'm amusing myself with links from the internets.

Grow Your Own 1-Up Mushroom - That's right. Now you can have "do overs" power in real life, with your very own Super Mario-style 1-up mushroom.

Dolce & Gabbana's Nintendo T-shirt - Well, it does seem like gaming is becoming more and more chic, but that doesn't make this $175 Dolce & Gabbana t-shirt any less ridiculous. The worst part is, I think they just took an old Nintendo ad from the Nintendo 64 era and put it on the shirt verbatim. Lame.

ps - Yes, there is actually a site called gaygamer.net, and yes, their slogan really is "For boys who like boys who like joysticks!"

I give the slogan a C-minus, but the site itself is a welcome change from all the mainstream gaming blogs that get 90% of their content from the other mainstream gaming blogs. (Funny how that sounds exactly like music blogs, innit?) This is just the sort of niche gamer market that Nintendo is poised to conquer, if they can just figure out how. Allow me to suggest a Project Runway game. You can cut and sew your clothing with the Wiimote, and Tim Gunn can pop up every now and then to say "Make it work!" or the dreaded "Well, I'll leave you to it." :)

The Joy Of Wii - If you've been on the fence about buying a Wii, this should give you some indication of just how exciting it is to play one. :)

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